You gave yourself permission not to be perfect. I am in my 35th year of teaching high school, and I still remember my first year an older teacher told me if half my lessons went well, I was doing great. That made all the difference. I teach in the inner city. My room smells like weed often. I have former students incarcerated and I have had 7 murdered. And I still show up, do what I can, and not worry about what I can't.