I have been teaching high school for 34 years. If I had written a reflection of my first year of teaching, it would have sounded a lot like this essay. I had to accept that no student would like my subject (history) as much as I did. And then it dawned on me - I am teaching kids, not history. That mental shift made all the difference for me. What goes on inside the classroom is demanding. What goes on outside can be overwhelming and ridiculous. Excellent essay and your candor is very much appreciated.